Who We Are
WE ARE PYRATS!! YARRR!! MATEYS!!
Our mercantile business
company has a long
tradition in the industry of fucking
people over. It was founded in evil times
inspired by much greed, and hopelessness.
We aim to steal your booty!
Yarrr!!
Sailing the Seas of Sadness
We plunder world wide booty from crappy hotel rooms and apartments
in bitter, wintery hellscapes.
What we are fueled by is
rampant lust and greed.
If you have shit,
we will take it!!
Guaranteed. Please
make us your source of
dismay and disappointment.
We aim to please!!
FUCK ALL OF YOUR TRUE FRIENDS.
EVEN THOSE YOU HAVE NOT MET, YET.
FUCK THEM.
Or better yet, just set our management
company on them
then, they will be
truly fucked.
Though we are very competent in other areas, our fuck you attitude, comes first!
We are Baltic Sea trained mercenaries, lusting for your booty. Anything, we will take it. Please trust in us, to treat you like garbage. We, are very good at it! We have a lot of experience doing that, and treat everybody equally, regardless.
WE are fair.
01
ALWAYS REMEMBER
you are dumb
02
DON'T FORGET THAT
you are greedy
03
BUT LOOK THROUGH
the window, if you can
04
THE SHATTERED LENS
is aimed at you
FUCKYOUJENS,
FROM ME
If you have any problems with our products,
do like we do, and go fuck yourself!!
HAVE A NICE DAY!!
Please write us and tell us how our service affects you. We really want to know. Aloha!!
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